Tuesday, June 07, 2011

The Illusion of Control... Letting Go....

Interestingly, I was thinking of posting similar content, but this post from Zen Habits illustrated this point very well. I shan't discuss more. =)

Taken from the post:

"How do we live our lives like this? It’s a completely different way of living, once we let go of the illusion:
- We stop setting goals, and instead do what excites us.
- We stop planning, and just do.
- We stop looking at the future, and live in the moment.
- We stop trying to control others, and focus instead on being kind to them.
- We learn that trusting our values is more important to taking action than desiring and striving for certain outcomes.
- We take each step lightly, with balance, in the moment, guided by those values and what we’re passionate about … rather than trying to plan the next 1,000 steps and where we’ll end up.
- We learn to accept the world as it is, rather than being annoyed with it, stressed by it, mad at it, despaired by it, or trying to change it into what we want it to be.
- We are never disappointed with how things turn out, because we never expected anything — we just accept what comes

Taken from the The Black Swan by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

"It is easy to see that life is the cumulative effect of a handful of significant shocks… Go though the following exercise. Look into your own existence. Count the significant events, the technological changes, and the inventions that have taken place in our environment since you were born and compare them to what was expected before their advent. How many of them came on a schedule? Look into your own personal life, to your choice of profession, or meeting your mate, your exile from your country of origin, the betrayals you faced, your sudden enrichment or impoverishment. "

How many things in life are within your expectations & control? 
Death, Accident, Illness, Promotion, Setback, Lottery, Falling in Love, Marriage, Divorce etc....
We like to make a lot of judgments based on hindsight and results... but the fact is there are too many factors and variables at work... 

Letting Go is the wiser choice.
Move with the Flow...
Move on....
And be FREE...


Tan Chin Chin said...

Hmmm, i'm very puzzled!

Last time, I did not set goals nor do much mid-long term life plan. I live in the moment and focus on being kind and helping people. I always accept the world as it is and how things out turn.

At the start, i thought it is okay, i'm happy enough, and that is good enough for me. Somehow, since i went SMU, i realized i need to change that mentality. Happy because i'm contented, but too contented makes me less ambitious. Just read a book call Influencer and they term it "serenity trap" where we learnt to accept too many things instead of seeking the wisdom to change things. This is because we humans are naturally better at adapting than changing.

Now, i'm starting to set goals and planning for more stuffs with the end in mind. Starting to look at the future and trying to control people by putting a label on them and dealing with them accordingly. I want to start to have expectation of things so that i can work towards them. I find that i'm more aware of myself, feelings etc and my surroundings when i start to think more.

I guess these two schools of thought are on the extreme end and it is still best to find a balance and use the appropriate mentality in different situation yea? What do you think?

Boon said...

You have answered yourself - Balance!
Well, I'm striking a balance of setting goals and striving hard for it, at the same time, I'm also taking time to slow down and learn to let go at times.

If you are very philosophical, and having inner happiness is the ultimate objective. Then why set goal? If you are totally contented and happy. You don't need to set goals to be happy when you achieved it. You have already arrived. Unfortunately, not everybody can be like that, including me.

The saddest thing in life is to sacrifice alot of things like time and effort and health to attain your goals, but to realize that this is not what you want. And when you want to amend things, it's too late. That's a tragedy.

Unfortunately, one needs to have more life experiences to understand and know ourselves. To know what really make us happy. To know what really matters in life.

It's good to struggle. It's time to get ourselves better. :)

At the end of the day, you wanna say that I lived a good life.