Review of 2012

Year 2012 is a pivotal year in my life. There were moments of fear, disappointment, gratitude, happiness, sadness, frustration, contentment and peace. I am glad that I ended year 2012 on a high note.

I was grateful that someone gave me a helping hand when I was in need. I was worried when my father was hospitalized. I was elated when I landed my ideal job (something that I had been working hard for past 6 years). I was sad when 2 friends passed away suddenly (especially leaving this world on a sad note). I was touched when I managed to raise more than S$5000 within 2 days for a school in remote India. I was happy to see the joy on the faces of children from disadvantaged background. 

Things will always change. From good to bad, vice-versa. That is the impermanence of life. It is foolish to think that life will always be good. I am coping with changes in life better, as I have accepted that this is the reality of life. Whenever I cannot accept this fact, I would suffer.

Life will always present us with many challenges. Instead of wishing for smooth sailing year (which is almost impossible). I wish everybody will learn some life wisdom to deal with all the uncertainties, good and bad in life.

Be Humble

There are so much things to learn from other people. There are so much things that we do not know. Humility allows us to learn more things and keep an open mind. We always need other people's help as we are all interdependent.

Be Compassionate

Before you pass a judgement on another person, put yourself into his/her shoe. Be mindful that everybody is the same - everyone just wants to be happy. If we see that everyone is just like  us, we would be more forgiving and more compassionate. Showing compassion is the only way to renew life. 

Remember to be compassionate/love to ourselves too. We, too, make mistakes, learn from it, forgive ourselves and remember not to do it again. Move on and remember that other people also make the same mistakes as us.

Do your Best

There is so much stress to meet other and our own expectations. We could never accomplish all our goals. Certain things in life are just beyond our control. We must always do our best, and be at peace with the results. If things do not work out, at least, we find solace that we have done our best. There is nothing to be ashamed when we have given our best.

Be Grateful

Remember that all things that we enjoy now is given by so many other people. A reminder of the Impermanence of Life is always helpful. I am aware that my health is not permanent, my family & friends are not permanent, my wealth is not permanent, my career is not permanent and most importantly, my life is permanent. So many bad things could happen in a minute, anything could be taken away from you anytime anywhere. Be grateful and contented.

Let Go

We came to this world with nothing. Yet, over the years, we learn so much things (thanks to the kindness of our parents and many other people) and accumulate so much possessions. The problem is not with the accumulation, but the attachment to things/identity/relationship etc... There is always time to say goodbye. Everything in life ends - your favourite things, pets, friends, family, relationship, career, health... It is inevitable. Learning to let go is a good way to set ourselves free. 

Personally, I always practice these qualities and it improves my life. I find peace and happiness more easily. I am more grateful. I am more willing to share and give. These qualities are especially useful in times of difficulties and uncertainties. I am still learning and hoping to improve myself.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." 

-- Theodor Seuss Geisel

May you find happiness and peace in your life.

Article: Turning 60: The Twelve Most Important Lessons I've Learned So Far

Taken from: http://blogs.hbr.org/schwartz/2012/05/turning-60-the-twelve-most.html

(Great Sky @ Porkara, Nepal)

Tomorrow is my birthday — always an opportunity for reflection, but especially this time. For several weeks now, I've been thinking about what I've learned during the past six decades that really matters. Here's a first pass:

1. The more we know about ourselves, the more power we have to behave better. Humility is underrated. We each have an infinite capacity for self-deception — countless unconscious ways we protect ourselves from pain, uncertainty, and responsibility — often at the expense of others and of ourselves. Endless introspection can turn into self-indulgence, but deepening self-awareness is essential to freeing ourselves from our reactive, habitual behaviors.

2. Notice the good. We each carry an evolutionary predisposition to dwell on what's wrong in our lives. The antidote is to deliberately take time out each day to notice what's going right, and to feel grateful for what you've got. It's probably a lot.

3. Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.

4. Never seek your value at the expense of someone else's. When we're feeling devalued, our reactive instinct is to do anything to restore what we've lost. Devaluing the person who made you feel bad will only prompt more of the same in return.

5. Do the most important thing first in the morning and you'll never have an unproductive day. Most of us have the highest energy early in the day, and the fewest distractions. By focusing for a designated period of time, without interruption, on the highest value task for no more than 90 minutes, it's possible to get an extraordinary amount of work accomplished in a short time.

6. It's possible to be excellent at anything, but nothing valuable comes easy and discomfort is part of growth. Getting better at something depends far less on inborn talent than it does the willingness to practice the activity over and over, and to seek out regular feedback, the more precise the better.

7. The more behaviors you intentionally make automatic in your life, the more you'll get done. If you have to think about doing something each time you do it, you probably won't do it for very long. The trick is to get more things done using less energy and conscious self-control. How often do you forget to brush your teeth?

8. Slow down. Speed is the enemy of nearly everything in life that really matters. It's addictive and it undermines quality, compassion, depth, creativity, appreciation and real relationship.

9. The feeling of having enough is magical. It rarely depends on how much you've got. More is rarely better. Too much of anything eventually becomes toxic.

10. Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, and don't expect anything in return.Your values are one of the only possessions you have that no one can take away from you. Doing the right thing may not always get you what you think you want in the moment, but it will almost always leave you feeling better about yourself in the long run. When in doubt, default to calm and kind.

11. Add more value in the world than you're using up. We spend down the earth's resources every day. Life's primary challenge is to put more back into the world than we take out.

12. Savor every moment — even the difficult ones. It all goes so fast.

+++

This article strikes a chord with me. 

There are so many points that I totally agree and have been trying to practice in my daily life.

The underlying philosophy and values are:

Impermanence of Life

Humility

Gratitude

Mindfulness

Contentment

Simplicity

Slow down

Being Good

Giving Back

=)

Want to know what is paradise?

Want to know what is paradise? 

Try asking these wise people 

- Street Kids in India, 

Physically deformed kids in Nepal, 

Terminally ill people in hospital, 

Beggars in China, 

Prostitutes in Bangkok, 

Shoe-polishing kids in Bolivia... 

Kids begging for money in Beijing, China

While they might be part of a syndicate, 

would anybody who has a good future want to join them?

A young Souvenir Seller (supporting his family), Bagan, Myanmar

His dream is to learn how to use computer.

He was beaming with joy when he told me that he didn't need to sell souvenir tomorrow (Saturday),

as he was going to school.

Kids killed in the Cambodian Genocide.

Slum in Hoi An, Vietnam

While we were having dinner together, the mother scolded the kids who wanted to eat the fried eggs (that was prepared for me). Having eggs was a luxury for the kids.

=(

An orphanage with physically disabled kids abandoned by their parents.

The caretaker (seen in the photo) has some physical disability too.

Kathmandu, Nepal.

A street kid scavenging for food in rubbish dump.

Calcutta, India

12 years old kid polishing shoes to support his education.

La Paz, Bolivia

These strong people never stop fighting to improve their lives.

I thank them for the invaluable lessons.

+++

What is a paradise?

May be you and I are already living in a paradise.

May be we are just unaware of it.

You might have the best of everything, 

without contentment and a sense of gratitude, 

you are just a miserable pauper.

Think about it.