Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Don't make yourself a Victim...

Chinese New Year is a time of reunion, and for some unwise people, it is also a time to show-off or compare their material wealth or other achievements. I guess that is one of the reasons why some friends chose to spend this holiday away from Singapore to avoid all the senseless questions and comparisons. 
Just now, I was chatting with a friend who was doing well in his career and was a top performer in his team. However, he was complaining about his work. I was also updating him about the progress of some common friends who are doing exceptionally well in their career/business & making lotsa money. Then, I felt a sense of  uneasiness in his voice. Then, he asked if I was feeling jealous about their success.
My reply was "Not Really".
He asked me "Why?".
I decided to change topic as I knew it was affecting his mood. Most of us are making ourselves victim by comparing ourselves with better achievers and feeling that we sucks. On the other hand, we (aka Our Ego) felt good when we won somebody else etc..., hence, our mood is like a pendulum swing - so unstable and vulnerable. That's the nature of Ego. 
Interestingly, I was re-reading The Power of Now when my friend called me. And I stopped at this paragraph (which has the answer to his question):
Some people would always rather be somewhere else. Their "here" is never good enough. Through self-observation, find out if that is the case in your life. Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No negativity. No psychic pollution.
Keep your inner space clear.
Tibetan Lady waiting patiently for her water
(Taken back in 2005 in Gansu, Tibetan Plateau)
Back then, I was wondering around the grassland aimlessly and saw this lady. Her calmness and peacefulness attracted me. She was waiting patiently for her water (which was pretty murky), and totally at peace with everything.


Yingel said...

Love this post, it is important to be thankful of our own fortunes, 知足常乐。

Boon said...

I agree with you. When one is too obsessed with winning, one loses the sight and forget all the wonderful things around us. =)

karenthecat said...

i think it's contentment.... and appreciating what you have. constant comparison will lead to misery