Reminder: Who is important in your life?

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Visualise the final moment at your deathbed

Visualise the final moment at your loved ones deathbed (family, friends, spouse etc..)

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What would you say?

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What do you want to say to them?

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What would you have done for them?

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Would you still behave the same way now?

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Is it too late to say sorry?

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Have you taken them for granted?

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Have you said enough thanks?

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Have you shown enough gratitude?

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Do you have the courage to change your present?

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A wise man once said something like that

Never say harsh words to people, as that might be your last word to that person

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I am not sure about you

but I need this reminder

I need to change my present

I need to develop awareness....

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"Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live"

- Tuesday with Morrie

Photography - Singapore CBD

Always looking up...

Uniform...

Chilling-out on the green...





Trios...

Bank of China...

Back of Merlin...




Aeriel Display...

Singapore Skyline...

Under the Bridge...

Breakaway

It is good to dream. =)

14th June 2008 - Siloso Beach Resort

My Favourite Pic of the Trip.

Encapsulated my feeling for the trip.

Well done Princess Winnie!!

Nice Room, Nice View, Great Company!

My JC Clique - "Spice Gang"

Life would be so different without you guys! =)

Ex-Colleagues (P&G)

Went for P&G gathering - farewell party for my ex-boss.

He was one of the best bosses that I ever met, I told myself that if I ever become a boss, I would want to be like him. Happy to know that he was persuing something that he truly believes in, and I know that he would be sucessful.

It has been 1.5 years since I left, but I could still vividly remember those stressful moments. Fortunately, the people are great! I am happy that I was part of P&G. This group of ex-colleagues are great, and I was not sure if it's the P&G culture or just this particular group of people.

Lastly, at the end of the gathering, we had a short celebration for those born in june.

Thanks Beatrice!

Ever thought of being a vegetarian?

http://www.meat.org/

Knowing life is short, how can we quarrel?

- The Buddha

“生命不在乎有什么，而在乎做过什么。”

- 黄家驹, BEYOND

Death will always bring clarity to the mind

the thoughts of death surfaced this week.

I woke up from a nightmare that I was dying. It was very real.

I received the news that my ex-boss's husband, whom I had met before, died.

currently, there was a wake held at the void deck of my flat.

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despite it is now 1.14am (sunday), and I had to wake up early at 7am to study for my CFA, I could feel a sense of urgency to pen this thought down and share it.

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death is the evitable truth

life is impermanence

yet, people always shun this topic, as though without thinking about it, they would avoid the inevitable

I like to think about it and talk about it

as only when you learn how to die, you learn how to live

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death will always bring clarity to the mind

I always practice the visualisation of my death

contemplate about my life

I asked myself about

the things that made me happy

the things that made my life meaningful and fruitful

what would I want to do if I have 1 day/1mth/1year/10years left

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it is never about the material wealth

it is never about the materialism

accumulation of wealth is only an enabler, it is never the reason

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it is always about love, experiences, way of life, philsophy and high meaning of life

the urgency is that I want to thank all the people who have been in my life, I am feeling grateful for all the great things that I had.

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Life might just end abruptly.

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"The next life or tomorrow - we can never be certain which will come first" - Tibetan Proverb

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if this is my last entry, do not be sad.

as i felt that I have been very fortunate already.

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These pictures capture some of the most memorable moments in my life

1998 "Project Hope" - Inner Mongolia

2007 Bodhgaya

2007 HK trip with parents

2002 China backpacking with spice gang

2005 visit to Langmusi

2005 visit to Tibet & potala palace

2003-2004 Silicon Valley

2004 New York Time Square countdown

2003 reflection pool & lincoln memorial museum

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I am fortunate in this life

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If there is any last word, that I would like to say

thank you

Awareness -> Contentment -> Gratitude

Contentment will definitely bring happiness.
I have been learning to feel contented and happy with what I have.
Lately, I realised that Gratitude is a proactive form of contentment.
Feeling a sense of gratitude is the empowering aspect of contentment.

It seems that there is a natural progression.
Firstly, I must have Awareness - to be aware of my surrounding, to be aware that I am alive, to be aware of the impermanence of life
Then, I would feel contented - by being aware that things could be worse.
Lastly, I would feel a grateful that I still alive and breathing, and all the little things in life that I have taken for granted (like Clean Air, Clean Water, Good Food, Family, Friends, Health etc..)

I could feel a surge of energy to live fully.
Less complain (at least during that moment).

Location: Outside my room window

Time: Morning before setting off to work.

Theme: "Taking time off to appreciate simple pleasures of life"

Comment: Did not realise that the flowers have bloomed so beautifully. Every morning, I am always rushing to work and forget to slow down and enjoy the moment.

How about you?

Train Incidents

This was the choatic scene on at Choa Chu Kang MRT while I was on my way to work. Unfortunately, a Chinese guy in his 40s committed suicide by jumping onto the track.

Chaotic Scene. Passengers were told to get out of the Station, yet, people allowed to enter the Station. SMRT Staff on the platform told us that there would be no train service, and everybody had to evacuate. However, the announcement over the speaker told us that the south-bound train was still operating. Conflicting message.

SCDF personnels arriving at the scene.

The place was condorned off. The SCDF personnels squeezed through the small hole between the 2 cabins of the train to get onto the track and search for the body.

Well, that is a tough job!

Those people who are a bit claustrophobic like me would just freak-out.
I did not see the body as they used white sheets of plastic to cover everything.

Fear surfaced.

Why did this person commit suicide? Health problem? Financial problem? Relationship problem? Why did he choose to die this way? Why did he choose to die on morning rush hour? What was his last thought? Can his problem be solved? Is he suffering from depression?

it will always be a puzzle.

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Another Incident:

I was taking a night train back home, the train stopped, passengers alighted, and door closed. Then, I saw 1 bag and 1 big plastic bag left unattended near the door. I could see everybody's eyes on the stuff, and started to shift away (including myself). The thought of terrorist attack came to my mind. Fear just seized me. I was very scared and felt that I might die in this train. I told myself that I don't want to die this way.

Then, one Singaporean asked this bag belonged to anyone. Nobody acknowledged until a Blangra work standing at a distance away move over and claim his belongings. ARGH!!!! f*** Idiot!!!

On the hindsight, it sounds really stupid. But the thought of death knocking on my door is very real - that moment was very real and scary.

Holy Cow - I love India

I just completed reading this indian adventure book - Holy Cow.

http://www.booksattransworld.co.uk/holycow/

The idea of backpacking in India was planted while I was watching Amazing Race. I was asking if I could go through all the shit. And while I was traveling, I met other travelers who told me that you would either love or hate India, and there is no two-way about it. I always wonder which category do I belong to. Fortunately, I am sure that I would love to go back to India again.

Below is a short sentence that summarises how I feel:

"...country of many cultures, many languages, and many ways to God. I believe its greatest gift - its diveristy and acceptance of difference..."

I will be back! =)

Sunset

Just a normal day

I was rushing home after work

why am i rushing back?

I don't know

what's the hurry?

I don't know

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out of sudden

I thought of K** who was bedridden

I saw the sunset in the midst of HDB buildings

Is K** able to see the sunset?

felt a bit sad

but felt fortunate that i could still see the sunset

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slow down my pace

gazing towards the direction of the sunset

breathe in deeply

I am glad that I am still alive

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the sunset is ordinary, but beautiful

Will that be my last sunset?

I don't know

But i was glad that I enjoyed that moment

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How often do I slow down my pace to enjoy the sunset?

(Taken in 2003, Reflection Pool, Washington DC)
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I always enjoy looking at sunset.
it could be a philosophical moment
it could be an emotional moment
it is always a peaceful moment

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It signifies the end of day

end of journey

time for reflection

End of Journey

K**'s journey is ending soon

His health is deteriorating quickly

The inevitable end is arriving soon

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When is yours ending?

When is mine ending?

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How do we want to end it?

End of Journey

As we grow older, do we get wiser?

Nothing much... just a trivial entry.

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I was looking through my journals and the stuff I wrote 6-7 years ago. Frankly, I was quite impressed by the ME back then. I was learning things that I wrote down 6-7 years ago. Well, to think that I was only 21/22 years old back then, the stuff that I wrote down were quite deep.
I was learning from the 21/22 years old Boon.

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Funny isn't it???

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I didn't grow wiser....but i did grow older.

unfortunately.

21 years old Boon

(Sarawak, Borneo - 1st backpacking trip)

Reminder

Chasing careers and materials in life sometimes cause blindness in us. We are constantly chasing something we don’t have but most of the time forgot the most precious things we already have in our life, our dear Mom. If we can’t even do the basic of taking care of our parents, what is the use of being successful when we can’t even fulfill the basic task as a human. So remember to cherish them before it is too late…

A Mothers Love

by Author Unknown

Who am I? - Part 2

Imagine...

If I lost all my physical possessions ...

If my friends and family left me...

If I lost my memories...

If I have nothing...

who am I?

Who am I?

Imagine...

If I am extremely stupid, disfigured, ugly, physically impaired, obscenely obese, living as destitute, been failing all my life....

Will I have any self-esteem?

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Always heard that one should exude confidence from within, one should be comfortable with oneself to be confident ...

As far as I wanted to be idealistic and optimistic... I think it's crap!!!

When you have never experienced any success in your life, how could you feel confident?

Ask a destitute in Calcultta to be confident...

Ask a child prostitute in Bangkok to be confident...

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Now it's getting a bit depressing...

How to get more?

We can get more by giving more... sounds rather counter-intuition. (I think this applies to most things except for $$... haha, well, it applies for money too... to a certain extent)

I realise that if you give more to other people, eventually, you will get back what you give and even more...

This applies to knowledge, love, kindness, help, and even money.

One of my turning point in my study life was in Secondary three. Remembered that one of my rivals back in school mentioned that Boon Han is nothing (in terms of studies) if there is no Maths. He's quite right - my languages & humanities sucks! During Saturdays, I would return to School to do my homework & to teach my friends who were weak in A-Math. I was really helpful, with no hidden agenda, except that both my friends and I would benefit. True enough, I got abck more than what I gave...

Another recent examples: I was very much into investing stocks. Spent many hours trying to find good online websites for information. I realised that after I share with all my friends my small little online gems, I got even more from them.

that's why I advocate sharing as long as it's not at your own expense (like sharing money, or limited entities like work opportunities).

More importantly, what's the price for making another being happier and better? Priceless.

Silicon Valley

Ruifeng is going to back to the Bay Area tomorrow.

Out of a sudden, I missed those days in Silicon Valley after 2.5 years. Memories flooded back while looking at the photos and the website:

http://www22.brinkster.com/boon80/silicon_valley.htm

(I am SO glad that I created this website, kinda "relive" it again... kinda)

Those days weren't easy. Lotsa stress & pressure. Trying to balance work, study & NUSEA. There were many days when I had to eat my dinner (Mc'chicken) while driving to project meeting. When I had limited sleep that I would settle for Mc'chicken for lunch and slept in my car during lunch break. I felt really low at times like working hard in Stanford lab at 3am on weekdays. There were times when I felt extremely lonely and feeling like crap...

It was hard, but rewarding...

In the end, there was always a moment of Exhilaration. There were so many moments that I felt so inspired. There were moments when we were feeling so down, but we encouraged and cheered each other on, telling ourselves that our time in the States was limited and we gotta make the best out of it.

It was still the best time of my life.

For a moment, I felt that I was living the American dream.

I felt that as long as I worked hard and believed in myself, I could do it.

I was constantly challenging myself to work hard... to move out of my comfort zone... to learn as much as possible (to be very hungry for knowledge)...

To experience life...

doing all the stupid things... trying all the new things...

Now, where is all my enthusiasm & zeal towards life???

Where is my hunger for knowledge???

More important question:

Could I ever live like that again?

I could have died.... is there such thing as destiny??

http://www22.brinkster.com/boon80/27.htm

Lastly, I had never thank my Arbor Brothers for making our apartment a home in a foreign land:

http://www10.brinkster.com/boonhan80/92.htm