Review of 2012

Year 2012 is a pivotal year in my life. There were moments of fear, disappointment, gratitude, happiness, sadness, frustration, contentment and peace. I am glad that I ended year 2012 on a high note.

I was grateful that someone gave me a helping hand when I was in need. I was worried when my father was hospitalized. I was elated when I landed my ideal job (something that I had been working hard for past 6 years). I was sad when 2 friends passed away suddenly (especially leaving this world on a sad note). I was touched when I managed to raise more than S$5000 within 2 days for a school in remote India. I was happy to see the joy on the faces of children from disadvantaged background. 

Things will always change. From good to bad, vice-versa. That is the impermanence of life. It is foolish to think that life will always be good. I am coping with changes in life better, as I have accepted that this is the reality of life. Whenever I cannot accept this fact, I would suffer.

Life will always present us with many challenges. Instead of wishing for smooth sailing year (which is almost impossible). I wish everybody will learn some life wisdom to deal with all the uncertainties, good and bad in life.

Be Humble

There are so much things to learn from other people. There are so much things that we do not know. Humility allows us to learn more things and keep an open mind. We always need other people's help as we are all interdependent.

Be Compassionate

Before you pass a judgement on another person, put yourself into his/her shoe. Be mindful that everybody is the same - everyone just wants to be happy. If we see that everyone is just like  us, we would be more forgiving and more compassionate. Showing compassion is the only way to renew life. 

Remember to be compassionate/love to ourselves too. We, too, make mistakes, learn from it, forgive ourselves and remember not to do it again. Move on and remember that other people also make the same mistakes as us.

Do your Best

There is so much stress to meet other and our own expectations. We could never accomplish all our goals. Certain things in life are just beyond our control. We must always do our best, and be at peace with the results. If things do not work out, at least, we find solace that we have done our best. There is nothing to be ashamed when we have given our best.

Be Grateful

Remember that all things that we enjoy now is given by so many other people. A reminder of the Impermanence of Life is always helpful. I am aware that my health is not permanent, my family & friends are not permanent, my wealth is not permanent, my career is not permanent and most importantly, my life is permanent. So many bad things could happen in a minute, anything could be taken away from you anytime anywhere. Be grateful and contented.

Let Go

We came to this world with nothing. Yet, over the years, we learn so much things (thanks to the kindness of our parents and many other people) and accumulate so much possessions. The problem is not with the accumulation, but the attachment to things/identity/relationship etc... There is always time to say goodbye. Everything in life ends - your favourite things, pets, friends, family, relationship, career, health... It is inevitable. Learning to let go is a good way to set ourselves free. 

Personally, I always practice these qualities and it improves my life. I find peace and happiness more easily. I am more grateful. I am more willing to share and give. These qualities are especially useful in times of difficulties and uncertainties. I am still learning and hoping to improve myself.

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." 

-- Theodor Seuss Geisel

May you find happiness and peace in your life.

Kinship

This week, I learned quite a bit about the importance of kinship. 

Encounter 1:

This week during my volunteering activity in a hospital, an AIDs patient (in his 50s) told me that his sister would be fetching him back home the next day. He was beaming with joy and I could not forget the smile on his face. In fact, most of the patients are longing for their family visits and support (and may be acceptance).

Encounter 2:

A friend who was studying in Australia for the past few years decided to return to Singapore. A few years ago, she was quite happy with her new life in Australia - new environment, more nature, more space, more laid-back, less stressful, less crowded etc... But recently, she grew sick and tired of the place, as she did not have a support of a local community and family. She was quite lonely. At least, back in Singapore, she could always count on her family and friends.

Encounter 3:

Visited a friend whose infant daughter was recently discharged from the hospital. His daughter did not breathe for 20 mins after birth, and as a result, she suffered from severe brain damage (she was warded in intensive care unit for days). She could not do instinctive things like sucking or swallowing. My friend (an ex-convict) had a difficult relationship with his father, but during this period, his father and extended family had shown tremendous support - emotionally, financially, physically. He was very touched by it. 

I was also very touched when I saw how my friend fed his daughter through a tube (which was inserted from her nose to her stomach). His infant daughter needs to be fed every 3 hours, and each feeding takes 1hr-1.5hr. Parents' love is indeed selfless and unconditional.

Well, it is really in times of trouble and difficulties, we know who are the people who really love us and stand with us and not deserting us. It is in time of trouble we see great human spirits and love. 

I am very fortunate to be born in a family and a culture that value strong family ties. The main contribution by Confucius is really emphasizing the importance of Filial Piety and kinship in a Chinese society.

I read this on BBC:

‎"It is no accident that the Chinese write the family name first followed by the given name. It reflects the overriding importance of the family in Chinese history."

  

On Saturday morning, my niece came to me and said 

"舅舅 (Uncle), I love you." 

I gave her a hug and that made my day!

It is priceless.

:)

RIP Charmaine

Charmaine Lim (14 July 2005 - 21 Oct 2011)

http://ourfeistyprincess.blogspot.com/

On June 2009, I sent an email to all my friends asking them to help Charmaine Lim with her fight against Cancer. I also tried to use my blog to spread the word. 

http://ahboon80.blogspot.com/2009/06/yes-mum-ill-fight-monster-charmaine-lim.html

Unfortunately, she lost her battle with cancer recently. On the other hand, I am glad that she was no longer feeling pain. I have not met her, but I have met her mum back in my Junior College days.

I just felt sad that a young life has not seen and experienced life, and had to struggle with illness for years. I guess many people have many explanations (ie. God's Will, Ripening of past lives Karma, Survival of the Fittest etc..) . I found comfort in that she had been showered with unconditional love by so many people and strangers...

That's the beautiful thing in life.

Love and Compassion.

Om Mani Padme Hum

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