Goodbye and have a good rebirth!

Posted this on my FB, decided to post it here for me to remember in the future:

"Attended a wake of a friend (Mr X)

I got to know him for the past 1 year while volunteering at CDC. Mr X had HIV/AIDS for more than 20 years. He was a very cool uncle who was very friendly and a good sense of humor. It's always a joy to interact with him. 

He used to work as odd job labour earning only $15-30/day. He didn't have any family (single with no siblings) and friends, fortunately, he had a very good friend of more than 40 years, who would visit Mr X everyday in the hospital. His good friend would also bring his children to visit Mr X. It's like kinship more than friendship. 

Nobody attends Mr X wake, except his good friend, his good friend's children and my fellow volunteers. 

Just now, I had a good conversation with Mr X's good friend (in his 80s) who told me that if people don't take care of each other, Life is quite meaningless. I'm very touched to hear that.

I have a few reflections:

1. Thankful for the volunteering experience. I get to meet people outside my social circle and learn so many things from them. 

2. Building a few good relationship is more meaningful than knowing many people at superficial level. 

3. Singapore govt is actually quite good. Mr X was hospitalized for more than 1 year and he didn't pay a single cents. Prior to that, he was receiving $450/mth handout. There is some sort of a safety net in Singapore for the low income. 

May Mr X rest in peace and have a good rebirth! 

Om Mani Padme Hum"

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The last time I visited Mr X was 2 days ago during my regular friday evening.

When I saw him, he was already unconscious and was gasping for air.

It reminded me of the last few days of my grandma who passed away a few months ago.

Immediately, I knew that Mr X days were numbered.

I was supposed to meet my cousin (visiting from Australia) for a drink, but I decided to stay back awhile more to do Buddhist chanting for Mr X with my fellow volunteers.

That is the least we could do for him.

I am quite sure that he could hear us from the way he gasped for air while we talked to him.

I left the hospital at around 9pm, and Mr X passed away shortly at around 10.30pm.

I was saddened by the news, but at the same time, I was glad that he did not need to suffer anymore, and hopefully, he received the blessing from our collective chanting before he passed on.

This is one of the most meaningful things I have done recently.

=)

Article: Life Slips Away

http://flourishingsimplicity.com/2015/01/09/life-slips-away/

Love this author's reflection on his mother's death and the reminder of the fragility of life.

Below is my favourite part:

This is the meaning of impermanence. In the realm of history things appear and things fall away: everything changes and everything dies. There is no escape: there are no deals to be struck nor bargains to be made. You and I are not exceptions to the rule.

An ancient Buddhist teaching called ‘the five remembrances’ reminds us that we are all of the nature to grow old, to become sick and to die and that eventually we will have to leave everything we value behind. All that remains are the consequences of our actions.

And so what is it that we should do?

Owning more things won’t do the trick.
Making more money won’t cut it.
On our deathbed we won’t think: “Oh, I wish I had spent more time in the office”.

...

I am writing this not because I am saying anything new, it has all been said before, as always, but because I want to remember how I feel now, since I know how easily this too can slip away. I want to remember the fragility of life and that it is all we have and what we have of most importance is each other and we don’t have time for foolishness and petty gripes and grudges. I have tried to say sorry to those in my family who I have hurt and to forgive those who have hurt me so that I can put aside the past and better open my heart to the present. I want to remember that we all suffer but that the world is also beautiful and we are capable of forgiveness and kindness and love. I really don’t think there is anything more important than that.

Reflecting about Birth, Aging, Sickness & Death

The first 4 months of year 2015 went past quickly... 

This is Life... it will go past quickly as well...

I am sure that on my deathbed, 

I would say that life went past just like a flash...

I am still learning how to deal with Birth, Aging, Sickness & Death.

Actually, I am fearful of death... 

To be exact, I am afraid that on my deathbed, 

I would regret not living a full life.

I kept reminding myself that I will get old soon and my prime years will be over soon.

I really don't want to waste my life idling and moving aimlessly in the stream of life.

So far, this year, I have attended 6 wakes - 2 aunts wake, 1 HIV patient, 1 friend's dad, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, and last week was my grandma's wake. 

I have 2 friends fighting for their lives - suffering from acute leukemia, and a friend's wife is suffering from thyroid cancer, and another distant friend just recovered from nose cancer. They are all in their 30s like me, in the prime of their lives. 

So far, I have been lucky, but I will never know if my luck will run out.

Some thoughts:

- You can overcome your fears slowly. 

When I was young, I was quite fearful of funeral, coffins and dead people. Recently, after attending so many wakes, I am getting more comfortable. I performed a funeral prayer service together with my group of volunteers for the HIV patient. Last monday, I was alone with the body of my grandmother in the hospital for almost one hour (while waiting to transfer her body from the ward to the mortuary). I was chanting for her and playing Buddhist Chanting music. Hopefully, she has a smooth passage to her afterlife, if there is one.

- Physical Possession is really over-rated

Grandma has been a very thrifty and hardworking person. We discovered many new clothes in her wardrobe that she never wore. She kept a lot of new things, but never used them. On the contrary, I told myself that if I do not use an item for 1-2 years, I should consider discarding/donating it away. Spending on experience will add more values to my life, it can broaden my horizon, change my perspectives, increase my understanding and knowledge of the world. So I will continue to de-clutter.

- Usefulness of Dharma (Buddha's Teaching)

I am not 100% Buddhist, as I am still not sure if there is afterlife, if there is reincarnation, if the law of Karma really works. I guess I could never be a 100% Buddhist, but Dharma is far better than ALL other religious teachings I have came across. The Dharma is very useful for me to understand the nature of life, which is Impermanence in nature. This philosophy has helped me to accept changes in life. And also attachment is one of the main sufferings of life, and the antidote to many sufferings is to learn to let go of many things including our ego. This also helped me to understand myself better.

May you be free from sufferings.

May you find happiness in life.

_/\_

Music: Lama Gyurme & Jean-Philippe Rykiel - Offering Chant

I bought this CD ("RAIN OF BLESSINGS: VAJRA CHANTS") when I was traveling in Dharamsala (where His Holiness The Dalai Lama resides) 2 year ago. 

Read more on: https://realworldrecords.com/artist/432/lama-gyurme/

This particular piece touches my heart - I don't know what it means, but it brings calm and peace. I felt as though I am seeing my life from a distant and recognizing the impermanence of life, recognizing my transient insignificant existence, nothing is worth holding back.... willing to let go of everything and be at peace with the greater Universe. 

*Trivial: Jean-Phillippe Rykiel

Jean-Philippe Rykiel is a French composer, arranger & musician, primarily a keyboard player. He has been blind since his birth^[1] in 1961, and is the son of fashion designer Sonia Rykiel.

Article: 面对它、接受它、处理它、放下它。

面对它、接受它、处理它、放下它。

Face it, Accept it, Deal with it, Let it Go

Buddhist Master Sheng-yen

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheng-yen

Master Sheng-yen passed away 5 years ago in 2009, unfortunately, I only got to read about his teachings after his death. I am very touched and impressed by Master Sheng-yen's compassion and love for the all beings.  One of the most iconic Chinese actress (Brigitte Lin, 林青霞, whose husband is the owner of global apparel company - Esprit) is one of his disciples. 

*Notably, Brigitte Lin came from a Christian Family background

Below is  part of her sharing:

Source: 

林青霞学禅,揭秘改变其一生的十二个字

我有幸见到圣严法师，由于以前没有接触过佛法、不谙规矩，见到师父竟然跟他握起手来。后来发现所有佛教徒都是以双手合十来打招呼。 继续延伸阅读：《佛教双手合十(合掌)的16种意义》

　　 我应该很专心地跪下磕头再站起来，跪下磕头再站起来，就这样连续做20分钟，心里要想着该忏悔的事和该感恩的事。开头我并不很专心，眼睛往旁边一瞥，见到一双轻盈的脚步从我身边走过。那袈裟飞起，就像浪花。我呆住了，心里赞叹着“好美！好美！”那是圣严法师。当年他老人家七十好几，也跟我们一样地跪拜，他的专注和真诚让我动容。后来他说他是对他的师父感恩。

　　 大约是8年前，我发觉我这个人太计较，总以为别人应该理所当然地对我好，而经常令自己很不开心，也影响别人的情绪。所以我决定去修行。我想要有一颗包容心，也想让自己“肚子能撑船”。于是我回台寻找大师，很幸运地，在因缘际会之下，我遇到了特技专家柯受良的太太宋丽华，她是一位虔诚的佛教徒。她送了一本小册子给我，我读了大为感动，那是一本谈论“禅”的册子。因为她的引荐，我有幸见到圣严法师，由于以前没有接触过佛法、不谙规矩，见到师父竟然跟他握起手来，后来还因为有点感冒怕传染给他而不安了很久，再后来发现所有佛教徒都是以双手合十来打招呼，我暗忖当时一定让周遭的人大为紧张。

　　 在见面的一个钟头里，我只问了一个问题，就是什么叫“禅”，因为始终认为禅是一门很深奥的学问。师父说只要坐三天禅就什么都知道了。我正在考虑的时候，师父连说了三次，于是我当下就决定坐禅三天，听说坐禅之前会因为被考验而受到阻碍，而我却在冥冥中很顺利地上了山。

　　 上山的第一件事，手提电话就给没收了，在没收前我赶快打个电话给女儿，告诉她我将有三天不跟她通话，这才放心。在三天内我要和其他九十九个人昼夜相处。不准化妆、不可看书、不可看电视，要睡大通铺。晚上十点钟睡觉、早上五点钟起床。这下可惨了，平常我在这个时候可能还没睡，还好我偷偷带了六颗安眠药，一天两颗，总算解决了睡觉的问题。

　　 晚饭之前，每人分获一个号码，暂时不用自己的名字，各人根据自己的号码坐位置、拿拖鞋和睡床位。这是要我们放下自我。在大堂里先对着大佛跪下头着地再站起来，心想这下可上当了(因为父母是基督徒，这辈子从来没有这么跪拜过)。原来这个作用也是为了消融自我。

　　 在饭堂里我隔壁那个人很面熟，后来才知道她是曾庆瑜，吴宗宪乖乖地坐在我对面，眼睛不像我这样到处乱睨。之前在走廊上见到曾志伟我还扬了扬眉(原来这也是犯规的，连对眼都不可，又怎能扬眉)，还有一位是功夫明星卫子云，来的时候看他在山边松筋骨。这么多圈内人，可见经常暴露在大众面前，表面上看起来多姿多采，内心却是渴望得到一片宁静和做到自我修行。

　　 吃饭的时候，师父很温和地一句一句叮咛，要我们心无旁骛专心吃饭，好吃的时候不要高兴，不好吃的时候也不要讨厌。要感恩这食物是经过很多人的辛苦才到我们的嘴里。吃完饭用一碗清水将碗碟冲一冲再倒回碗里喝下。

　　 饭后离座时要双手迭起，放在胸前，慢慢起身，顺序走出饭堂，手里就像捧着一尊菩萨，内心里什么都不能想，也不可以自己对自己说话。我静静地坐在石头上，对着大山和星空，突然听到一阵很美的声音，我寻着那个方向走去，原来是一位女菩萨跪在那儿，一面敲钟一面念经，不知道为什么我感觉好喜悦好舒服。

　 　第一天早起，吃完早饭，我们坐在大堂里听师父开示，师父教我们如何打坐和拜忏。一天内有许多开示和打坐，师父循循善诱，我们密密抄经。

　　 有几句真言，在我生命里最不可承受的痛时，因为用了它而顺利度过。人世无常，不如意事常八九，我经常把这些话送给朋友，他们也因为渡过内心的难关而感激我。说句笑话，这几句话惟一不适用的就是台湾“总统”的选举。

　 　这几句真言就是：面对它、接受它、处理它、放下它。

　　当你遇见一些事时，你不要逃避，最好的方法就是面对它，然后你必须接受那已成的事实，好好地处理它，处理完后，不要让它占据你的心，必须放下。以下是师父给四众佛子的共勉语：

　　 信佛学法敬僧 三宝万世明灯

　　提升人的质量 建设人间净土

　　知恩报恩为先 利人便是利己

　　尽心尽力第一 不争你我多少

　　慈悲没有敌人 智慧不起烦恼

　　忙人时间最多 勤劳健康最好

　　为了广种福田 哪怕任怨任劳

　　布施的人有福 行善的人快乐

　　时时心有法喜 念念不离禅悦

　　处处观音菩萨 声声阿弥陀佛

　 　第二天我们学行经。有慢经、快经和自然经，行慢经时，双手轻轻握拳，每一步路是脚掌一半的距离，要走得很慢很稳，这叫“步步为营”。快经的步伐可大一点，双手自然下垂，但是要走得很快很快，自然经则要全身放松地步行，看似简单行则不易。走完后感觉好舒畅。

　　 第三天是要我们做到感恩和忏悔，我们就像开头讲的那样拜忏20分钟，心里要为这一生中所有该忏悔的事忏悔，对这一生中所有该感恩的人感恩。很多师姊、师兄泣不成声。我听到一种平和的声音：“要用情操，不要用情绪。”那是师傅的声音。

　　 三天很快就过去了，这三天的课程让我一生受用不尽，我对父母、先生、女儿、朋友，甚至整个世界感恩。对该忏悔的事，想办法补偿。减少了自我感。少了计较，多了回馈。人也快乐起来。我觉得这三天里，学到的比三年甚至十年还要多，最难得的是我找到了内心最深层的宁静。

　 　师父是个智者也是位哲学家，我对他是感恩！感恩！再感恩！

+++

Life will be full of challenges.

Be Equanimous.

How to cope with life challenges?

Face it, Accept it, Deal with it, Let it Go

Challenge is often a source of growth and improvement.